Unsuccessful interaction with a public service worker...

This is actually a previous Facebook note that I posted a couple months ago, but since not all my readers are FB friends, I figured I would share this humorous event. (if I don't know you or haven't met you in real life, you are not going to get a friend-acceptance from me, sorry, it's nothing personal, I just don't like potential FB creepers and stalkers...no offense) In my own defense, I will go ahead and say that this guy totally brought it upon himself. I am usually a very nice person, and will willingly go out of my way to be nice/helpful/easy to work with along as the other person is reciprocating the same courtesy, but I am firm believer in karma and you will get what is coming to you. Working in the restaurant industry for 7+ years in high school and college, along with about 4 years working as an admissions counselor, have given me the equivalent of alligator thick-skin and the highest bullsh*t tolerance level a person such as myself is capable of having. And I really do understand that jobs in the service industry can suck big, fat donkey balls on a regular basis...but you know what Tonto? It's your job, grow up, suck it up, deal with it, smile, and get paid. Your life is not the next Columbine or 9/11 tragedy. I'm just thankful that they have a job and I'm not paying for their welfare and Lone Star card while sporting brand-new Jordan high-tops. (that one's for YOU, Chad Wylie!)

Sister is getting married in Jamaica in a few weeks, and it just dawned on me a couple months ago that I needed to update my passport and get the last name changed. YES I am aware that you have 90 days after a name change to send it in and get it changed for free, NO I did not think about it till recently, but I got it done okay?? Now, please keep in mind the events that had been ensuing not only that week, but that same day: I found out that a college-friend of mine was tragically killed in a car accident (RIP Alex "Trainwreck" Barfield, you are truly missed sweetheart) and was an emotional mess because of it, my phone kept blowing up the entire day with Facebook notifcations/messages/texts/emails/phone calls/voicemails, in the mean time every student/parent I had been talking to that week/day just seemed to be all up in some weird and bat-sh*t crazy (no I cannot create a nursing program for you, we just don't have it, get over yourself), I was trying to seperate my emotions from my workday (which was just virtually impossible and a stressful feat in itself), I was super-stressed about getting my passport processed and sent back in time for Jamaica so sister wouldn't murder me, and on top of everything, I was PMS-ing like a mad-banchee woman. Definitely a recipe for potential disaster, especially with me...all that festered frustration eventually led to an ugly incident involving a public service worker...but he totally deserved it.

Have you ever had one of those moments where you just snap, and your usual alligator-thick skin can only take so much before it cuts and bleeds? Oh yeah...that day was was my day...the culprit? We shall call him "Dante'" (the name on his name tag started with a 'D' and was crazy-long) from the Richardson post office...he looked a lot like the "hide yo kids, hide yo wife" guy from the "they rapin' errbody up in hur" youtube.com video. Same jacked up teeth, same rubber-neckin' way of communicating, and same awful grammar...*shudder* Nothing pains my ears and irks me more than terrible grammer...anyhoo, after weeks of calling various offices, being told completely different things about forms/identification, "yes we need your office marriage certificate", "no we just need a copy of your drivers license w/the new last name", "no we require a blood sample and your first born child, along with a $110 processing fee", I finally got a hold of an official person in the U.S. Passport Authority Office, found out exactly which documentation and forms I would need to submit, called the local post office to a.) convince that what the USPAO told me was next to the word of God, and b.) schedule an appointment, I told them I would be in the next afternoon to get everything taken care of becuase it was urgent. After gathering all the required documentation, as well as half-jokingly saying to the nice passport man that I would hunt someone down if my marriage license was lost (yall have absolutely NO idea what big guy and I went through to get that stupid official document), he took my picture for no cost (definitely made my list of top favorite people for the day), signed off on everything, and pointed me to what seemed to be the equivalent of a line at Six Flags for the Texas Giant the first week of summer break. Thank you US Postal Service for your attention to quick customer service...NOT!!! After waiting in line for what seemed to be an eternity behind a weird lady that smelled really bad (seriously, at least a half hour), I FINALLY got to the front desk. Events that ensued are as follows:

Dante': (with a scowl and no eye-contact) May I hep ya may'um?
Me: (Sad, irritated, defeated, impatient, but genuinely trying to be nice): Yes thank you, I need a large Priority Mailing Envelope and a money orde--Dante': (abruptly cuts me off) WE DON HAVE NO MONEY ORDUHS MAY'UM!!
Me: (caught off guard, miffed, and falling out of my mouth before I could think) What do you mean *mockingly* YOU DON' HAVE NO MONEY ORDUHS? Is this physical address of the Richardson US Post Office completely void of money orders? Or is it yourself personally that is out of money orders? *theoretically kicking myself, saying 'damnit Leanne' and attempting to take the hypothetical foot out of my mouth*
Dante': (gapping stare, with a 'This b*atch done mocked me!' look on his face) May'um yous gon hafta get back in da line and wait fer ma co-workuh to getchu a money orduh. *points to the other desk, where a STACK of paper money order slips are in plain sight*
Me: There is a full stack of money orders right there *pointing to said stack of money orders in plain sight*, you can't just grab one for me and fill it out here?
Dante: Yous gon hafta get back in line n wait yo turan MA'YUM!
Me:  *getting irritated quickly* You didn't answer my question, SIR!
Dante': *looking at the money order slips, back at me, eye roll, and then attempting to ignore me*
Me: (as my dad says, "done had it at this point" and screaming) HEY! I'm talking to you! WHY do I have to get back in line to wait for a money order when you can walk a whole 3-4 steps to your co-worker's desk and physically pick one up?? I can see that they are in plain sight and don't require a PhD to fill out Bucko!
Dante': May'um yous annoyin me, and fo a white lady I don unnustand whys you jus can't follow derexsons!
Me: (livid, more yelling, and thoroughly annoyed by his awful grammar) What in the hell does me being white have to do with the price of tea in friggin (I like that word) China?! Look asshole, I understand that you think you have the crappiest job in the world but that doesn't mean you can be the world's biggest jerkoff to whomever you damn well please because of it. Get a grammar book and some worth ethic YA BUM!
Dante': Uh....uh....
Me: Yeah, and I hope your rude lazy ass gets an infected paper cut too! *stormed out with a couple whoops, claps and 'YEAH you said it(s)!' from the other poor souls in line*

I'm really not a mean person, honestly, but when driven to the edge of an already emtionally vulnerable day...its not pretty...funny thing was, I didn't realize that I still had the Priority Mailing envelope in my hand and hadn't paid for it until I got back in my car and calmed down. Oops! Apparently no one noticed either...Oh well, I saved $6! Small victories right? IN YO FACE DANTE'! How you like them apples??!