First official rant...bad wife and a gold-digger? You talkin' to me &*#$?!

This post is just more about me both defending myself, my husband, clearing the air, and defusing any ugly rumors or comments to people who just quite frankly have nothing better to do with themselves than talk crap about others out of spite and jealousy...

In all sense of disclosure, I generally (as yall have probably determined) that I usually don't give a damn what people think about me. I've been accused of everything under the sun (just about), been called every derogatory word in the dictionary (Webster's and Urban), and also had a few pour souls that have tried to walk all over me....who in turn, immediately regretted it. Vast majority of the time, I usually just laugh it off and let it all just roll off the duck's back because it's usually so ridiculous and not even worth the stress or effort...and they're left embarrassed, looking like a complete asshole, and attempting to clean the toe-jam out of their mouth after they've taken their foot out. Also, I can take a joke and being given a hard time, as long as it's all in good fun. Hell, I'll even play along and fire right back! However, there are some instances that are just plain rude, inexcusable, and not cool to joke about, and I will NOT tolerate it. The next person who calls me a "bad wife" and or a "gold-digger" in poor taste will get a piece of my mind and the star of Texas/Stephen F. Austin State University permanently imprinted on their face from my fierce right-hook. I know who I am, and I married for love and all the right reasons, NOT for money.Yes I am going back to school full-time to work on a post-bac degree in the fall, yes I am still planning on going to grad school afterwards, no I am not working full-time while going back to school, yes my husband is supporting me, yes he is successful and does well for himself, no I certainly did not marry him for his money (it's a pretty standard salary in the IT industry), no I am not in a hurry to pump out babies "just because", yes he can go out with his friends wherever he damn wells pleases pretty much any time he wants, no I am NOT a bad wife for "letting him" do what he wants, and yes you can kiss my ass. Loving, supportive husband that only wants me to be happy and do what's best for me, which in turn is best for us and when we start a family? Well, shouldn't I just be condemned to hell?! Please...give me a break, just so I can think of a proper insult for such ignorant people.

For anyone with a bachelors degree of the liberal arts nature, it's pretty well-known that you need at least a master's degree to move up/get promoted in anything that you do. Otherwise, unless you're a teacher, your professional options are slim outside of sales and being an admissions counselor (which I don't recommend for more than a year or two). Big Guy's degree is in Computer Science, he is an Adobe certified software developer for a Fortune 500 company, fantastic at what he does, and can move up fairly easily in his industry with just a bachelors degree since it is more specialized. With a BA in Psychology? What can you do? Unfortunately, I know too many college graduates that are still servers and bartenders...Sadly, I am one of those college grads with a liberal arts degree and (as of right now) stuck in the same profession with no room for opportunity. Yes I am perfectly aware that there are plenty of people out there that work full-time while going back to school, but you know what? It takes them a million years to finish a graduate degree that traditionally only takes about two to complete. During that time, they wear themselves almost to the breaking point because they are spreading themselves so thin. Possible? Yes...Ideal and time-efficient? Not at all. Now, am I personally bashing those working students? Absolutely not! My parents were both working students while sister and I were growing up, and hey, sometimes you just gotta do what you gotta do and make the best of your situation. Really, kudos to them for spreading their time and energy to do so, especially those with families, and if I absolutely had to do the same, I would do the same. On the other-hand, I was constantly reminded what a financial and emotional burden it can be while trying to juggle a job, school, AND a family. So you know what? I am going do myself, my husband, and my future-children a beneficial favor. I am going to do something (apparently) unheard of, and go back to school full-time to finish graduate school before starting a family. And you know what else Tonto?! THERE ISN'T A DAMN THING WRONG WITH THAT!!! There, I said it! Students from all over the world, at all schools, do it ALL the time, every day, and life goes on. So to those that are bashing me for doing things in the sensible order, and taking advantage of the prime opportunity my Lord has blessed me with? Get over yourselves, seriously. It doesn't make me any less of a hard-working student if I am going full-time, so you can take that self-righteous attitude and shove it.

When Brian and I met/dated/got married, quite frankly with his specializations, certifications, talents, and experience, he wasn't making nearly as much as he should have been. But of course, with the still-recovering economy and the stiff job-market, he was doing the best he could at the time. We were on a tight budget yes, but we were still plenty-able to pay our bills and have a little at the end to blow (hence how I got such a bad-ass engagement ring). And by NO means do we live a life of luxury with a mansion in Highland Park and drive Mercedes and BMW's! We live in a 3-bedroom house in Richardson, I drive a Nissan, hubs drives a Honda, and we drink $7 wine. We both knew that we would eventually seek graduate degrees, especially before having children, because it would be a necessity as we both got older and wanted to potentially move up the ladder in our careers. Yes a career is important to me, so hide your East Texas urges to tell me that I should be ashamed for not starting a family right away. In retrospective, we both knew that it would probably be me first, and we both worried just how it could be reasonably done. Not long after that, Big-Guy put his resume out on a couple sites, received calls that afternoon and the next day, had scheduled interviews by the next week, and was offered his current job about two weeks later. God definitely blessed us with his new job, because financially the pay-raise he received pretty-much evened the financial scale of what it would have been with both of our salaries...yes, I make THAT little working for the glorious state of Texas...it was one of those moments where you count your blessings, don't question, and start making plans. I plan on pursuing a masters degree in Industrial/Organization Psychology, which is one of the top, prime, and most hire-able professions right now and in the foreseeable future. It ranks up their with actuarial science and telecommunications engineering. So yeah, I'm doing right by myself, Big-Guy and our future-family. From a financial stand-point, and the all-time important "starting a family" stand-point, it made more sense for me to go back to school first. With the still-recovering economy, and the fact that I have years of real-world-work experience after my first bachelors degree, it makes the most sense for me to finish ASAP, start working, and pay off a big chunk of my loans before popping out little blue-eyed, brunette, half-breed Germans. *wink*

The "gold-digger" accusation doesn't infuriate me NEARLY as much as someone calling me anything remotely close to a bad wife. Just as I know what I am, I know what I am not, and I am not a bad wife. Never, ever, EVER make that reference to my face, much less behind my back. I love my husband, yes he gets honey-do lists, yes I put him to work sometimes, but he is also a grown man and I respect him and his interests outside of our marriage. To all these crazy wives that don't let their hubbies leave the house without them, call/text every ten minutes, order them around, send their best-men emails about "your" preferences for the bachelor party, treat them like little kids, regulate their social life, force them to run errands and go shopping with you, whine/bitch/moan/cry/guilt-trip when they want to have a guy's night or get away from your plate of bat-sh*t crazy, and just flat-out treat them like crap and make them do things they would rather not do, refer yourself to the "mental health" section of the yellow pages, because you need a therapist to discuss your spreadsheet-list of issues in yourself and your relationship views.Your are not his mother, he is not a little boy, accept that now. He is a grown man, an individual, and needs his personal space. Now that doesn't mean he doesn't unconditionally love and care for you, he just needs time to be a guy, just like you need time to be a chick. Remember the tips in the last post? Yeah, guys are pack-like in nature, due to testosterone-driven need for acceptance and dominance among other like-minded males. The fact that I respect that individuality and need for time away (because I sure as hell need it too), and don't order my husband around like a unruly child, does NOT make me a bad wife! In fact, he respects me MORE for showing him said respect, and it's a mutually understood concept. I do my things with my girl-friends every once in a while, he does the same with his guy-friends every once in a while. Sometimes I just need to go shopping for a couple hours, sometimes he just needs to get out of the house and go to the local bar to watch the Cowboys/Rangers. Does that make us weird, abnormal, and unhappy? NO! We are still madly in love, I still clean the house, cook dinner, do laundry, feed the dog, keep up the house and finances, and keep my man COMPLETELY satisfied, all while holding a full-time job and social life. Just like me-he works full-time, does all the yard-work and occasional small handy-work, takes charge as king of the grill, takes care of the mortgage, remembers important dates, all while making time for his friends and treating me right. *wink* He knows where his bread is buttered, the un-ending trust is 100% mutual, he's smarter than the average bear, and definitely knows his limitations as a respectful married man. He comes home at a reasonable hour, doesn't blow all his money on frivolous crap, brushes off other women, speaks highly of me, never does anything to question my trust and respect for him, and describes me as quote-unquote a "cool wife." The literal sense of being his "ball and chain" is not appealing to the good guys out there...so sue me that we have a healthy marriage and I don't feel the need to chain him down. I am a damn good wife, my man is happy, I am happy, and who is anyone else to judge what they know nothing about but wish they had? Pennies for your thoughts...