Wiser, not older...get it right

"Back to schoooool, back to schooooool. To prove to UT Arlington/Louisiana Tech/St. Mary's/Clemson that I am not a fooooooool!" This was my Facebook status this past week on my first day of class as an undergrad...again...I have to say that that definitely made my top-5 list of weirdest/deja vu/surreal moments of my entire life. After finding a graduate program that is right up my alley, doing my research, figuring out admission standards, and that I would basically need a 2nd bachelors degree to qualify, I knew without a doubt that it would like going back in time by being an undergrad again. But to the extent? I had no clue...it was like someone took the present me out of the equation, pressed rewind on the rest of the world, and then plopped me back into a college classroom. I took a couple minutes to look around in each of my classes, observe the clothes they were wearing, and listen-in on some of the conversations going on around me. After working on the admissions side for close to four years, and being the old lady that has done the college thing once already, it took every ounce of me not to shout at the top of my lungs "Dude, you have NO IDEA what you are talking about! What proof and justification do you have, besides your own flighty and self-centered theories, that you make any type of relative point? To ANYTHING?? Yeah, talk to me in two years when your 'theories' still have you unemployed."

Don't get me wrong, I understand that individuality, expression, and self-discovery are all major components that go into each person's college experience. And you know what? I was probably super-opinionated at 20 years old, but I at least had respect for others around me and didn't talk out of my ass for the sake of hearing my own voice. Prime example: In the first day of my Child Development class, we were discussing historical views on raising children and how they varied through periods of history, such as Europe pre 1600 and so on. The topic of the discussion was the "original sin" theory of the Middle Ages in which parents believed that their children were "born bad" due to the radical religious belief that every one was was born with a demon inside them, and by strict discipline and constant religious reassurance, over time the demon would be cast out, and how it could relate to raising children today. Radical and ludicrous by today's standards of raising children, and also by more up-to-date forms of Christianity yes, but valid and understood by standards of such a primitive and religiously-centered time period. Then the kid behind me pipes up...and OMG was this kid the epitome of the depressed, rebellious college-kid that most likely grew up in a strict, higher-middle-class household and was still finding himself away from the grasp of his parents. (The psych-nerd-radar went bonkers in my head after I saw/heard this kid, hence where the theory came from...hey, you see it time and time again, consistency is usually correct) Dressed in all black (On a 107 degree August day?), wool beanie-cap, gloves with the fingers cut-off, skinny jeans, cardigan sweater (Dude did you steal that from your sister? Because I have one just like it), and a t-shirt that said "There is no God." (Uh huh, get some Prozac and counseling, then keep searching kid...I'll pray for you) He proceeds to go on a small, stuck-up tangent by saying "Well it was a religious time period, and that's what Christian believe anyway. Most religious households still stick to that theory, and children could live with stress by being over-disciplined and under constant scrutiny, which could in turn lead to aggressive behavior towards family members and other children." Every ounce of ability to keep my mouth shut was immediately thrown into that moment to NOT say "Wow, just because your childhood was strict and overbearing doesn't mean that EVERY Christian household works the same way. If you shut your mouth and opened your ears, you would realize that Christianity is about love, acceptance, service, and a life of happiness and good works for the good of yourself, your family, other Christians, and also non-Christians. It is NOT, however, about constant criticism and scrutiny to others who do not have the same exact views as you, that would be defeating the ENTIRE message and purpose of the religion. You unfortunately had a very skewed experience, but your resentment is incorrectly targeted, and it is not appreciated. How about you expand your horizons just a bit and not put every Christian household in the same category okay? You narrow-minded little prick. You just diagnosed yourself, go see a counselor and resolve your issues with your family and religion. You need it." Vomit...really??

In retrospect, it is truly amazing to see just how narrow-minded these "kids" really are in their college years...despite the fact that, ironically, they think they have a more liberal and open-minded viewpoint. Newsflash, not so much! It used to grate on my very last nerve when my dad, sister, anyone older than me would say "You don't know anything, just wait till you get out of college." But honestly, it could NOT be more true than where I sit today. Thanks Dad! The age-old expression of "If I knew then what I know now, I would be a lot better of" cannot be quoted unless you have been-there, done-that. Just two days back in the classroom have officially justified me being able to use that quote. After going through school and knowing just HOW hard it can be, having the realistic support system at home, dealing with professors, learning to really study, doing the party-scene, living life without a care, finding "myself" persay, going through relationships, being unemployed for months after graduation, finally finding a job, paying bills, getting my heart broken, finding true love, getting married, being a wife, counselor, borderline life-coach, my message to college students is that a.) you don't have it all figured out, and b.) talk less, listen more. You would be surprised what you learn, and the next time someone "wiser" than you gives you sound advice, take it. Believe it or not, they know what they're talking about. Pennies for your thoughts :)

Week #2 as an unemployed housewife...shoot me...

When I FINALLY left UTD, all I could think about was the roughly two and a half-week-long vacation I was potentially going to get before school starts...yeah, that lasted about three days before I started going stark-raving-mad being cooped up in the house...now I know (without a doubt) that I am NOT cut-out to be a housewife. Slowly...going...BANANAS!!! The job hunt has begun at FULL force! Right before I moved to Dallas, I swore and vowed to myself that I would never wait tables again. After close to four years of being basically a punching bag for higher education, waiting tables and starting out my greeting of "Hello, my name is Leanne and I will be taking care of you guys tonight" and earning easy cash doesn't sound so bad after all...